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Tips to Help Older Children and Young Adults Deal with Divorce

McHenry County divorce lawyerYounger children undoubtedly need more hands-on attention in all areas of life. In addition to learning how the world works, their psyche needs development. Negative experiences can leave a lasting impact on infants, toddlers, and young children. Although older children and young adults are more capable of understanding situations and are generally self-reliant, coping with the divorce of their parents has a dramatic impact on their lives as well. Whether they are a pre-teen or an adult, your children still need you to help them through your divorce.

Show Them They Are Loved

While younger children often need to hear that your divorce was not because they did anything wrong and that both parents still love them, older children and young adults also need to witness that they are loved. Older kids likely already know that the divorce is not their fault; their concern is how this will impact the future. Will you both be able to attend their graduation? Will you be civilized at their wedding? Who will attend family events? Older children need to know that your love for them is greater than the anger you and your spouse have toward each other.

Find a Support System

Even if your children are married and have a family of their own, they do not want to be in the middle of your divorce. Discussing the intricacies of the divorce puts your children in an awkward situation. You are still their parents, and they love you both. Venting to them is an invitation to have them choose a side, which is unfair to everyone involved. Find a support system with whom you can discuss your divorce, and be sure to share only the necessary information with your children.

They Think About Your Future

When you are married, you have someone with whom to travel through life. If you get sick, your partner is there to nurture you back to health. You help each other financially and provide support for your children. After a divorce, that partnership is no longer available to fall back on. Many children, especially adult children, concern themselves with what will happen should you need help. Do your health and care become the responsibility of the kids? Do you have an alternate plan in place to find care for yourself to alleviate some of the burdens on your children? Discuss your plans with your children sooner rather than later.

Ask an Attorney

Although a Kane County family law attorney will never make the divorce decision for you, sometimes talking with one about your options can help you determine if divorce is the right option for you. In your initial consultation with attorney Colleen Thomas, you will discuss why you are leaning toward divorce, if you are prepared for the process and the future, and how you should complete the next steps. Call us today at 847-426-7990 to learn how we can help you with your divorce, post-divorce modification, or other family law concerns.

Sources:

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/coping/11-rules-for-helping-your-child-deal-with-divorce/

http://www.divorceandchildren.com/tips-for-parents-of-adult-children-of-divorce/

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